Thoughts

It has always been my dream to stop working and be a housewife and dedicate myself to my family instead to my work.

Ye la every day I spend more than 60% of my time outside, be it the hours I spend on my job, the travelling time and at the end of the day, I get to see my children less than 2 hours!And I feel that being there for only a couple of hours in my children life every day is insufficient.Seriously, how can you love someone and only spend less than 2 hours with them daily?You tell me.

And that lucky 2 hours I get IF I got back on time and reached home before 8pm. Else, I can only see them in their bed..or sometimes even in my own bed.So aku and aspa had to sleep elsewhere heh.

Every day we spend nearly 4 hours for travelling from our home to our workplace. Ok this is return journey. How I wish we could (or rather the right word is afford to) buy a house in KL.. Meaning near to our workplace so that we do not have to spend so much time on the road and we can spend the extra hours with our loved ones.

It also has always been my dream to teach my own children about everything though I must admit that I don’t have the knowledge they need to know but hey it is something you can learn.I have always wanted to homeschool my children so that we can minimize the unwanted risk.You know la how it is nowadays. The people around you, the people that going to interact and influence the children and the list goes on le kan?Ok enough with the negative thoughts.Law of attraction applies here.

Yes and it is always been my dream to be at home to cook for my children and aspa’s favorite dish and love to see them say “sedapnyaaa mak masak hari ni” though I know sometimes they just say it out loud to please me.heh.

As much as I want to stop working and become a full time mother and wife, the prospect of my job nowadays is getting interesting and better. In term of the thing I do and also the monetary side.

So I guess perhaps Allah wants to test me on this. As much as I want to raise my own children with my own hand, on the other hand, the thing that is stopping me from doing that is getting more exciting and it’s hard for me to let it go as well.

Well I think 1 day I will have to make a decision on which I should forego

Buat la solat istikharah byk2 minta petunjuk dari Allah.

Only He knows best.