When you are married

I used to be very independent.

Meaning I can do and will do anything on my own without anyone help or consent.
I will just make it happen.
Regardless what others said.

But since I got married and have my own little family, I have become very dependent.Especially to my husband.I’m sure he somehow regretted it after that.Knowing that I have become less independent and rely too much on him muehehehe.
I know Aspa will always do it whenever I asked for his help. It’s either he honestly want to help or he just doesn’t want me to nag him.Penat dgr aku berleter.Perempuan ni mmg kuat berleter rupanya.Ish ish :D

Anyway, I am kinda hate myself now for being such dependent to someone.
I have always wanted to become Super mom just like my mom.

Masa kami kecil2 dulu, my father used to work in Johor Bharu and he worked there for quite number of years and hence left the children to my mom to raise alone.
My father would only be back every fortnight.
So everything was handled by my mom.

After having my own children, I am rather impressed now on how my mom could manage to jaga all of us(5 of us) without the help from a husband( ye le since my father most of the time was not at home).
Dah le perangai sorang2 mcm2, and yet she could raise all of us without much complaints.

I remember she would be up around 5 am just to cook to make sure when we got home from school, we would have food on the table.At that time, we had bibik.And at times, when our bibik buat hal(lari dari umah ke ape ke), my mom had to take care everything including cleaning up the house..well basically the household chores.

She was still working at that point of time.

When the maid was not around, after my mom cooked, she would do the laundry, clean the house and others before she went to work.
And in the evening she would come home and continue the house work until night and at the same time make sure we did our homework.
At that point of time, I didn’t realize how much it took to do all that as a single parent(I mean when my father was not around le.Not that they are divorced or anything)

So I want to be like my mother.But I don’t think I can.
Nak bangun pagi nak masak air pun rasa cam susah benar..apetah lagi nak masak pelbagai lauk utk anak2 huhu.
Tah le..kena kudrat kuat dan bersemangat waja.
I think parents nowadays(merujuk pada diri sendiri) agak manja dan lemah compared to zaman2 our parents dulu kan?

The other day I asked Aspa how did her mother raise all of children(his siblings and him le).
Aspa told me that he somehow impressed how his parents able to raise 5 of them and everyone received good education up to their tertiary education.
He remembered that his mom used to ride her motorcycle to taiping to visit him from changlun during his asrama years in Taipin.Which I think was really far.

he said that his parents didn't have much.
In a way,quite poor but he rather impressed that his parents would do anything and make sure all their children needs were taken care of.
How they get the fund/money, he wouldn’t know.But his parents managed to fulfill all their basic necessity

I think I know the feeling of being a mother.Or perhaps a parent.You will do anything for the sake of your children though it.

Well, when you become a parent, then only you will understand how much your parents love you.
walaupun teruk mcm mana perangai kita pun and mcm mana kadang2 dorang react/response towards us, deep down in their heart, they will always love us :)

my point of this entry?

nothing specific really.....just to put my thoughts in written form :)